Rocks in the Dryer

Group Giving

I am a member of a group and each year at Christmas I want to give each member a gift, but darn it Christmas always gets in the way.  The last couple of years I resigned to giving Valentine's gifts.  In retro-spec I shouldn't look at it as resignation, maybe another act of accidental genius.  Don't we get enough for Christmas anyway?

Gift giving to a group can be tricky.  Same goes for party-favors, wedding favors etc.  How do you give to many people and have it be worthy and appreciated?  I think presentation makes a huge difference, lucky me, gift wrapping is an extreme pleasure.  What is the actual gift?  To find something on theme and worth of the time and effort - well that is the trick indeed.

My gift this year (I have 23 recipients) are "Quotation Cookies" (porcelain fortune cookies) made by my friend and severely talented potter, Elizabeth Cohen.  I love their simple elegance, and I can't think of a human who wouldn't appreciate and enjoy having one around. I wrote and printed quotations/fortunes that made sense for my individual recipients:

 

 

I then let myself loose on the packaging (well, not too loose there was a budget in mind  - as close to $0 as possible), I often think the wrap is as equally important as the gift - all things considered.  Style doesn't necessary cost money... In the end I spent a total of $14 to wrap all 23 gifts, not bad!

Chinese take out food containers seem the obvious choice.  I found white ones for .40 cents each. (they are made by foldpack, I picked them up at a local paper warehouse). 

 

I owned brown kraft shred from a previous project so I let that lead the color pallate.  Found lovely sheet of lotus flower wrapping paper (needed 1 sheet /$2.50 for 25 belly bands) at the paper-source and the pink rafia was also dirt cheap at the other paper warehouse (two spools for $1.09 each).

 

 

 

Belly bands might be the easiest trick in the book - I love them on boxes and invitations alike.  All you need is a ruler and cutting instrument (I prefer xacto knife and cutting mat).  Just measure and cut!

 

 

The only thing else used was a little scotch tape to secure the belly bands.  I'll be adding a kraft gift tag, also left over from another project, to write a personal note to each recipient.

They are almost ready to go....

 

 

 

I hope the recipients feel the love.....

Bicycle Co-Op

I have an old hand-me-down bike that has served me rather well over the years.  The problem was, it was not much of a pleasure to ride.  It was used by me on a begrudgingly, as need basis only.  The seat hurt my seat to say the least and the classic "lean to the handle bar" position has never been pleasant on my aching back.

Would a new bike help?  I had to wonder.  My New England summers offer many glorious biking occasions that I long to take advantage of, in a more pleasurable way.  In my own town, for instance, I enjoying walking to do my errands, but how dreamy to bike and do the same.  My little men are always more interested if it's a bike trip.

I started looking at bikes, the sit-straight-up-beach-comber bikes that Martha's Vineyard tourist brochures are iconic for is what I had in mind.  Most I found were far too expensive for my budget or desire.  All I had found left me with an undeniable "not a chance".

Then I went to Target.  Oh my.  There it was, the perfect-for-me-bike at a much better price (and I know much less quality but 'tis not really part of my "need"), still I was having a hard time justifying the splurge.

Talked to my friend Kerrie who was about to go on vacation and found out how much bike rental would be on the Vineyard for a week - guess what - it was exactly 1/2 the cost of buying the Target bike.  Our master minds decided to buy the bike together and each of us (luckily with no travel overlap) would take it on our summer excursions.  Genius!

Could you die?  Vintage inspired, white walls and all.  When I peddled down our street the first time my 8-year old claimed: "You look like an old-timey lady mommy".  "Great", I responded, "That is just what I am going for".  I can only hope his minds eye was seeing Gidget or That Girl and not the old mean lady from the Wizard of Oz.

My bicycle sharing friend has enjoyed a week of peddling around Martha's Vineyard already and told me how she decorated it for the 4th of July.  She sent me this photo:

I can see how the Inn behind her is decked out in all of it's glory, the bike I am not so sure is living up to it's potential.  I rather had something more like this in mind:

Se la vie, next year I'll make sure I get the bike for the 4th! 

We did add the sassy Nantucket Bike Basket - it removes easily, and has a handle for your hydrangea picking needs or farmers market shopping, oh the joy!

Aside from the huge spring loaded seat and white wall tires I think I might just like the handlebars the most with their gushy, handstiched-esque, leather-esque details.  Coulda fooled me, they feel like the real deal.

Did you want to see the basket again?

Upcycled Vintage Postal Bag from Guadalupe

I wondered what it would be that would be bring me out of my blogging hiatus.  Is it proof that my posts come from the soul?  Not everything inspires me.  I don't find everyday blog worthy, and then today happened.  I often give credit to strokes of luck or divine inspiration to a little something I call accidental genius.  There are been a few this week, but documentation of them is going to require some time and preparation.  Today's bout of wonderment is so exciting I couldn't wait and and documentation time is minimal.

I ventured out to an estate sale with my good pals Betty and June.  June, I am afraid, can be a bit flaky sometimes. Turns out we had the address right, date wrong, no sale today.  As we were leaving the vacant no-esate-sale house June did recall reading an article about a new shop in our local paper that was in the vicinity and thought we should check it out.  I do love June.

We checked out this lovely shop { Darby Road } that is full of wonderful treasures, many antiques, many reproductions much to see, love and drool over.  I found all sorts of things for some design clients, some friends (who always give me their shopping lists) and of course myself.

Behold:

The vintage up-cycled (it's old material used to to make a new bag) mail bag from Guadalupe.  Aren't we all a little sick of the overdone french words scantly screen printed on linen and textiles.  Yes, we are.  What we are NOT sick of is authentic mailbags that have an authentic aroma and have been carefully crafted into a perfectly sized shoulder bag complete with blue ticking fabric lining.  I am in love.

June admitted had I not been with her today she would have probably picked it up for me - rather screams my name - even though my name is not Jose Maria Arteaga, as printed on my new bag.  My ability to spontaneously purchase this new-favorite-thing-on-the-planet comes, again, from coaching from the Happiness Project.  Invest in a modest splurge.  $45 seemed about right: modest splurge, check. 

My new best friend, Jon Ames, the owner of Darby Road had 2 more of this bag and a few other varieties splayed out on a handsome and sturdy harvest table.  Drop him a line {jon dot darby dot road at gmail dot com} if you must have - you won't regret it!

Have a great weekend!

ETSY at it's Finest

Have I mentioned how much I adore all that is ETSY?  Need I mention how amazed I am when I find how few people take part in the joy that is conducting business on ETSY?  I continually find myself shocked when I learn of people who don't even know what ETSY is?  How could it be? 

Last week in the midst of my discovery and growing infatuation with Vintage Paint By Numbers I decided to treat myself to a few.  Call it a "modest splurge" as recommended by The Happiness Project.  I searched, I found, I purchased.  Yesterday the first one arrived in finest ETSY fashion.

My $12.00 purchase, beautifully wrapped along with a long handwritten letter from the seller. 

I love the painting. Love it!  I love the personalized homey feeling of the transaction.  It arrived very swiftly, and in line with the vast majority of my ETSY transactions, fully exceeded my expectations!  More please.

 

Vintage Paint By Numbers

I am in the midst of a new and overpowering obsession, somebody stop me before I do something drastic....

I am finding myself, very much by surprise, obsessed with vintage paint by numbers (PBN - that's collectors terminology).  Who knew.  My friend Kerrie has a vintage PBN over her living room sofa, it's never done much for me.  When we go to Brimfield I hear (but have not really listened) to her prattle on about looking for good PBN's - I was not yet ready for the conversation....... until now.

A very creative couple updated a very ugly stairwell with a Paint by Number collection (see the whole project & before photos here)

Finally, the grand master of all Paint By Number executions  -  That's right, a hand-painted PBN mural.  Yowsah!!!!!! (fully story and links below)

this fantastic wall makeover comes from scott and cheryl white in michigan. inspired by paint by number artwork, they decided to turn an ebay painting into their own custom wall mural. after their paint-by-number painting arrived from ebay, scott made a color transparency of it and borrowed a friend’s projector to trace it on the wall with pencil. scott and cheryl created a chart of all the colors, recreating their own numbering system. then after a trip to michael’s to pick up paints, scott and cheryl painted in their large-scale paint-by-numbers mural by hand over a period of eight months. the final results are stunning and i’m so glad scott and cheryl had the inspiration to create something so fun on their walls. well done, guys!

via www.designspongeonline.com

 

I found more more more and have "pinned" them in my brand new Pintrest account! - check them out here.  I admit I have not yet gone fully mental - I only bought 3 PBN's on Etsy last night .......

Brimfield Re-cap

Oh my aching back.  Two long days of strolling through the beating sun at brimmy can really wreck the body, but as always, pure joy!

I had been given a few personal shopping missions, I had a list myself and as always I came home with virtually nothing I went there for.  In the many years past I have taken to acquiring vintage Christmas decorations and as Big Daddy will emphatically express;  Our Christmas collection is absolutely complete.

Once on the fields as I was trying to divert my eyes from all things Christmas I decided why not spread my love for holiday decor to all the holidays.  I have been reading "The Happiness Project" and really enjoying many little nuggets and resolutions that can be made to strive for a happy life.  One that sticks is (and I am paraphrasing) to make your home a treasure trove of happy memories.  Tis my mission with Christmas, why not spread it out.  I can now proudly say: all holidays are represented, but these collections are far from complete.  Two more brimfield fairs to go this year, I have my work cut out for me.

Here is Mr. Thanksgiving:

I love him dearly.

I found these fun rings and scooped them up for everyone who had their name sake represented.  This one is for my BFF Betty.  They were $1 a dozen. 

I almost bought this for my bathroom, there is large cavern in my bathroom where a bathtub is supposed to be (it's a heartbreaking story I won't tell). I walked away and now have to wonder why....

I was on a mission to find a portrait for a friend's mantle... She wanted something "old timey" I was texting her photos all day, to all she said "no thanks"

she almost got this one just for being a pain in my butt:

we enjoyed the endless miles of vintage treasures:

Then finally made our way back for an icy cold beer by sun set on the tailgate.  This is where we dig through our carriages and see all the bounty within.  We never remember what we have acquired until we unload......

Ok so there is a little Christmas, though it pales in comparison to the 7 (count them) vintage ceramic Easter-esque planters.....Big Daddy is going to be soooooooooooooo thrilled!

 

Bathroom Mini Reveal

It was many months ago that I showed off our bathroom renovation in progress.  This bathroom (as you can read about in the other post) has been more than 3 years in the making.  I won't talk about it too much the wounds are still healing....

At very long last, our bathroom is nearly finished.  We lack some finishing touches, some touch up paint and a few more bits and pieces.  It is, however fully functional and we use it with unbridled joy. 

Last week when my 6 year old came down with strep throat I was reminded again how utterly thrilled and lucky and blessed and ecstatic I am to no longer share a bathroom with the heathens that are my sons.  Their hygiene habits, or lack there of, are repulsive.  I can and do say: "wash your hands" until I am blue in the face, on an hourly basis, but the reality is they are little boys and not the most thorough of the breed.  I no longer could stomach my tooth brush being in the same room, let alone holder as theirs.  Mine is now tucked away in my very own wall mounted cabinet that I share with no one.  Peace.

More to come..... 

 

Gift Giving, RDF Style

Yes, you all know that I take things from the Take It or Leave It at the RDF (recycling and disposal facility, ie: town dump), I shop at Salvation Army and thrift stores.  My favorite place on Earth is the Brimfield Antique Fair (coming soon mark your calendars!). Most of what I dive in dumpsters for is for myself.  However, from time to time I do find gifts.  Some of the best gifts I have given have been found items.  Sometimes the recipient knows the source, sometimes I embellish ("I got it at an Antique Store" sounds so much more palatable), most often I say nothing.

My brother and sister in law just remodeled and moved into an extraordinary home on Boston's Beacon Hill.  It is exquisite to say the least.  It's a place worthy of movie sets and big shiny design magazine photo shoots.  Where did I get their housewarming gift?  That's right, the dump. I gave it with pride and I will have you know it is prominently displayed in their fine home.  We had the pleasure of celebrating Easter dinner at their pad and lookie what I say standing erect on the custom built in bookcase that is fabulous enough to lick...

Second shelf from top, first item from left:  A vintage, first edition, hardcover copy of "Joy Street" written by Francis Parkinson Keyes.

The significance you ask?  Well, their home is on actual Joy Street, the Joy Street the book is written about and not only that but their building is in the illustration.

Could it get better?  Why yes it does.  In the jacket flap was a description of the story, and I am paraphrasing, it's about the Boston blue bloods who live on Beacon Hill and all of the scandal that ensues when the Italians move in.  Do you know my surname and that of my brother and sister in law?  It doesn't get any more Italian than that.  Joy indeed! I am beyond thrilled their hearts and minds were open enough to receive the gift no matter it's source! 

I will say it again, the best things in life ARE FREE!

 

 

Recessutating a Mid-Century Coffee Table

Come here often?  Then you know I am an avid dumpster diver, cheap skate, re-purposer, mid-century enthusiast.  (see here and here for example)  The "take it or leave it" section of our town recycling center opened for the season this week - and that can mean nothing other than:  Time to re-decorate.  I am always thrilled to enjoy what others are throwing out.

This weekend, among other piles of treasure, I found a Lane mid-century round coffee table.  I didn't really need a coffee table, though the one we had in our family room was a bit too square and a bit too large (it comes from what I call our "Early Marriage Collection" all the big ass, out of date furniture we bought the year we got married).  I thought I might give it a go.

It was in rough shape to say the least.  Clearly it had been being used as a kids craft table.  It was covered in glitter glue, paint, scotch tape and there were many gouges, scrapes and stains.  I broke out the power sander and got it looking like this (bummer I didn't take a true before photo).

Then I put this stuff on it:

and darn it if 30 minutes and 8 dollars later it didn't look like this:

After a nice rub down with wax, I promptly kicked out the old table and put the new one in it's place.

As usual, Big D is not as in awe with the project as I am.  I always have to sell him (ironic since the stuff is free) on the concept: it's not garbage, it's actually desirable.  Most people just don't have an eye for these things - see how lucky you are?  I showed him this search on EBAY and this one on ETSY to prove that a Lane Mid-Century coffee table in (now) good shape - is a very good thing, and pricey at that.  In the end, what's done is done.  I am sure he'll forget all about by the time I cart my next score home.

It's a Vintage Christmas

I don't like to consider myself a "collector".  I'd be hard pressed to say I collect anything, until now.  The time has come to admit that I collect Vintage, Mid-century Christmas decorations.  There will come a time very soon when I need to stop myself, or buy a new house.

The first step in my transformation to a Mid-century Christmas was to convert to C-7 lights a couple of years ago.  I honestly feel like starting a club for C7 enthusiasts, the few the proud.  I am so terribly hooked.  When I plugged in the first set this year to begin stringing the tree I actually got teary.  C-7's are becoming harder to come by (I score loads of them at the recycling center) but in my opinion they are quintessential, Christmas in a nutshell, Iconic if you will, big fat in your face shiny, Christmas.  I am a convert for life!

Next came my undying love of chalkware (sometimes called Nabco or Ardco if you feel like searching - they are really inexpensive and plentiful on Ebay & Etsy  - see here is one still at $5). Started with the wisemen scored at an estate sale last spring:

They were joined by a set of carolers found at Brimfield this summer:

Another set of carolers from Etsy:

and finally the sweet musicians from Ebay:

The little vintage gold tinsel tree and the gold merri-craft balls came from the Salvation Army thrift shop last summer, greenery is the scraggly clipped branches from the tree. I have one more set of dreamy colorful Nabco Angels that are supposed to be a gift . . . if they get pried out of my scroogy hands and into their gift bag . . .

My friend Kerrie scored these wisemen for me at an Estate sale, they were my Christmas gift.  Oh my:

These carolers were a gift from Kerrie (my vintage Christmas partner in crime) last year.

Decoupage plate (made by moi), found the image on a vintage Christmas album cover scored at the recycling center this summer.  It hurts.

Stuffed some berry sprigs in Mr Owls head to give him some holiday flair, the vintage tray, candle holder and tree came from the recycling center.  It's my dumpster diving center piece . . . .

when in doubt place santa hats everywhere....

Who says plastic light 'em up santa needs to be outside.  This jolly ole guy and the little tree also came from the recycling center, complete with working light) this summer.  I was dragging home so much Christmas stuff this summer I thought Big Daddy would nearly kill me (again) - I think it all paid off.  He was trying to give it all away as party favors at our last party ..... He did not succeed.

I haven't even gotten to the smokers yet.  My friend Miss Anna turned me on to smokers a couple of years ago.  They are my biggest Christmas splurge, though even I have limits.  I search Ebay and Etsy for them all year and only buy when I can get them for less than $30.  Do you know these guys?  They are incense smokers.  Their bodies come apart, you put and incense stick in, light it and put their bodies back on - the incense smoke comes out of their mouths.  They might be my favorite, favorite.  My boys can't believe the glory.

the tray is from the recycling center, the framed post card also from Kerrie.  Most of the Christmas stuff I like is vintage Japan.  The smokers and many ornaments are Vintage Steinbach (if you are interested in a search) This smoker was found on Etsy.

Best tips for searching on Etsy and Ebay for Vintage Christmas?  Use those tags (vintage Christmas) plus, Japan, German and let yourself go wild. It's just paypal money and that is not real right?

Ok - well, I am not done but should be.  Other favorite vintage goodies adorn my Christmas cottage, but I think I should save that for later.  There is much still to be done.  Though I will say this.  This year I suspect I will cry when it all has to come down and I suspect my house will look boring and drab come January.  How many more days?  I plan to wallow in it.

Simple Christmas Candy Party Favor

We threw a little party for some friends with a new and very delicious little baby.  The party was a "sip and see".  Historically I believe a "sip and see" is intended to be a tea party.  Guests come to sip tea and see a new baby.  We gave it a bit of a grown-up holiday twist.  Ours was to sip cocktails, the baby part remained the same.

That is Cora May, couldn't you just eat her!

Theme was red, pink and white candy, desserts and cocktails.  The best part was having a divine little snuggley baby in a bucket in my house.  The second was the party favor....

simple little glassine envelopes accented with candy cane striped paper, tied off with red & white bakers string and filled with white and pink sixlet candies.

Most everything for the favors I had in my house - but all can be sourced here:  candy cane wrapping paper, pink oval labels, bakers string, glassine envelopes, sixlets candies)

Desert was a candy bar, all were pink, white, red and chocolate.  The cake is my new favorite discovery tipped off by BFF Annmarie.  Make a simple one or two layer cake and cover with granche. 

Quickest decorated cake I have ever made!  Granache is poured over the cake and once dry becomes shiny and perfect and lovely!  It was the bomb. Baby's name went on in a flash with royal icing. 

Decorations were simple, pink roses and of course we served a pink holiday punch.  Quick, simple, stunning if I don't say so myself.  Welcome baby Cora!

All I Want for Christmas is Carrera Bianco Marble . . . . I think

Long ago and far away we unsuspectingly hired a clinically insane contractor to renovate our home.  Water under the bridge now, our wounds have been thoroughly licked and nearly healed.  What is left is a very unfinished (understatement) master bathroom.  Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is to complete it... [edit] ... All I want for Christmas if for someone to complete it for me.

For 3 years how this unfinished thorn has been painfully attached to the side my house.  While it has made for very plentiful storage (and a great hiding place for the kids Christmas gifts) the time has come. 1.5 bath no more - we moving on to the big time!

Problem: I can easily make decisions for others . . . it's myself that is the problem.  And, while I fancy myself a master dumpster diver and vintage resurrect-or, I am a disaster when it comes to buying new.  Let's face it there is so much, too much, to choose from.  When I scour my favorite haunts for vintage my choices are limited, I either like it or I don't and besides if I spend $6 on something and end up not liking it, no big deal.

I am thinking tile to fill this baby:

- is going to more than my normal spending capacity and I am terrified of my own inability to decide.  Should it be Modern?  Classic?  White?  Beige?  Colorful?  Eclectic?  Unexpected?  Common? All would thrill me, there is so much I love (do you look at design blogs?  I am tortured constantly), but this little project unlike all the others I take on is far more permanent. Permanent scares the **ahem** out of me.  Scare-dy cat no more, it is time to force myself out of a 3 year stall. 

I have been to 4 tile places.  I have completely changed my mind 6 times, back and forth back and forth.  Wanna hear the real funny part?  I already own all of the fixtures, lights and facets.  All I need is the flooring and tile.  Paralyzation.

There are photos and clipping taped all over the walls, folders upon folders of photos and bookmarks of online inspiration on my desktop, pictures on the bulletin board, binders full of clippings.  I still can't cant call it.

 
I was just thinking that if I could arise on Christmas morning and enter this space and magically find it looking like this . . . . (kind of)

well then, and just then, I might really believe!

 

Up-cycing the Ugliest Chairs in America

I think I did it.  I think I purchased the ugliest kitchen table and chairs in all the United States of America.  I had a vision.  My vision has been realized and I might add, all of my dreams came true.

Remember a few months ago when I entertained you with the story of my dead upholsterer.  He died with my unfinished ugly chairs in his possession.  I had to go on a mighty journey to rescue the chairs and start anew.

The chairs are finished now.  They are in my home and experiencing great use.  My boys (of the child variety) love them, couldn't wait to sit on them,  use them constantly.  My husband thinks they are the ugliest things in our house, still.  I'll let you be the judge.

Here is where they began. 

I purchased this table and set of 4 chairs, straight out of 1963, at an estate sale.  The "set" cost $60.  This was one of those moments when I thought big daddy might actually kill me.

I purchased fabric from Hable Construction - where I should really be cut off.  I love their fabrics, though even I can now admit I really shouldn't use anymore, anywhere in my house.  I chose charcoal /checker - end of bolt, discontinued dye lot.  Score!

Here is how they turned out. Thank you myself.

I do not think it's possible to love them anymore.  They are accompanied by my friend, Hoot:

Hoot came from the recycling center.  Can you believe he was being thrown away?  It is a crime what people throw away.  One man's trash is most often my treasure. Finally, this room is complete with the Heywood Wakefield China Cabinet scored on craigslist last spring.  Mint.

We don't eat at this table (hence the Hable fabric).  This is our family room, activity room, right off the kitchen.  We do homework, puzzles, games and drawing at this table and it's serving it's purpose well.  I almost feel like this room has been curated, it's a flashback. 

It may come as no surprise that I don't much like "new" stuff.  There are a whole host of reasons why, mostly because I think new is quite boring.  It has taken me nearly a year to pull this area together, great stories, silly antics, hard work, near death experiences, but behold the result.  I wouldn't trade it for anything Restoration Hardware could dish out.  Big Daddy, on the other hand, may disagree . . . still not a fan, but as always I suspect he'll come around.

 

Vintage Flocked Wallpaper :: Closet Makeover

Yesterday was the first full day of Kindergarten.  This meant it was the first time in months where I had 7 straight, kid-free hours.   Bliss.  I did a whole heck of a lot yesterday, even have a sore shoulder to prove it.  The accomplishment giving me the most joy and no pain, is this one:

I wallpapered my front hall closet with vintage, regency, gold flocked wallpaper from the 1960's.  Isn't it dreamy?

Here's the deal.  I have lived my sweet house (the love of my life) for nearly 10 years.  I have redone and redone again each room in this house.  Though there are still little nooks and crannies I have yet to tackle.  One being the front hall closet.

It is so sweet and tiny and really can't be, shouldn't be, used for anything except guest coats.  I have always wanted it to be surprisingly pretty and empty, just waiting for my guests to arrive.  The problem is, since I have never made it cute and sassy it has been reserved for holding a bunch of...crap  (the following image may be disturbing for some viewers).

There was little in this closet that was worthy of saving.  I can hardly believe I have been abusing my real estate this way.  That is a bonefied unused square foot!  Opportunity knocked, as it normally does, in the form of someone else's trash.  Go figure someone was throwing this away, blasphemy.

I asked my dear old friend Annmarie for the left over wallapaper paste from her recent project.  I was on my way.  That's right friends, the cost for this little make over $0.  My favorite.

There was only one real hang up, well maybe two.  1st, this specimen of vintage gold flocked wallpaper truly is vintage.  The paper is deteriorating and was not what I would call easy to work with.  I had to come to very quick terms that this was not a project that was going to have a pefect ending.  The paper is just too old.  I got it up, but upon close inspection anyone would see that it is possibly the worst paperhanging job, ever.  It's a closet, the paper is fabulous, who cares?  Perfection is one of the many things of which I can let go.

The second little issue is that once hung and wet, I realize the paper smells. Hmmmm.  I put an incnese diffuser in there, it's not quite coat season yet, and well I think it looks good enought to have a few flaws.  Even big daddy, who has the best smeller on the planet thinks it's just dandy.   I think he is just beyond thrilled I finally conquered the front closet.

No matter the angle, it's my mostest favorite ever!

 

Ding Dong the Upholsterer is Dead ...

Back in March I purchased some utterly crazy 1960's kitchen chairs.  The ugliest things you have ever seen.  What a score.  They came out of time capsule home where I attend an estate sale and carted home a many treasure.  One being kitchen table and chairs and another being this.

I thought long and hard about the investment to make in the chairs (which I bought for $40, table included) and after much pondering, decided to go for it.  Had some uber sassy fabric flown in from NYC and called up the cheapest and most talented upholsterer I know: Scary Man Bill.

Scary Man Bill has been upholstering for me and many of my friends for a while.  He did these chairs for me last winter and has completed many projects for many friends.  It is true that Scary Man Bill looked like he'd lead a pretty hard life (hence our name for him) but darn it if he couldn't upholster.

In March Bill carted away my four disgusting chairs and one bolt of fabulous fabric and I pretty much never heard from him again.  I started to think Scary Man Bill must be dead.  The problem was all I had was a cell phone.  Bill did pick up and delivery.  I had NO idea where he took my possessions to work his magic, no idea where he lived.  I did know his last name, but it was about as common as his first.  I had me a problem.  I Googled obituaries from time to time, his cell phone had long been "no longer in service".  I had all but given up.

Lucky for me, Bill also had furniture belonging to one neighbor and one friend.  These two vixens started to get rather resourceful.  In the end they tracked down the "last known address" of Bill and had the nerve to pull up a google map and do a drive by.  The house was easy to find, my friend's sofa was in the driveway...   A nice shirtless man answered the door and informed my friend that Bill had died the previous Sunday.  Go figure that one. 

Our new scary friend didn't know where any of our stuff was but would try to find out.  The sleuths walked away with a name and phone number.

Fast forward four weeks plans were made to repossess the goods.  I was to meet new scary friend at his house, he had a key to a warehouse, we would look.  10:00 Saturday morning I met our new friend, 32oz beer in hand (him not me) and I followed him to the warehouse.  I think his truck must have had a hemi whatever that is, I have never driven so fast.   My Toyota pickup truck is not so well equipped.  I was giving it all I had in serious hot pursuit of a man (who was supposed to be letting me follow him) with a key and I could not risk loosing him.

I managed to keep up and we arrived at this warehouse. 

It's about 5 times bigger than it looks here.  He said my stuff was in there somewhere.  He wasn't sure where.  Way on up on the fourth floor in a room/closet we found this:

Bill had taken apart the chairs but not begun to start over. Fine.  My fabric, while smelly, is intact.  I could move on, start anew.  We all got of our goods and got the hell out of there. 

Today we dropped off our projects at a new upholsterer.  2-3 weeks he said.  I won't hold my breath.